


Loki, Bright and Clever

by needleyecandy



Series: Silly September [28]
Category: Thor - All Media Types
Genre: Epistolary, Long-Distance Relationship, M/M, NSFW Art
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-30
Updated: 2016-09-30
Packaged: 2018-08-18 17:38:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 613
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8170228
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/needleyecandy/pseuds/needleyecandy
Summary: Thor is a farmer on the plains and a guardian uncle to two orphaned children. He turns to the matrimonial section of the newspaper to find help. Loki answers.





	

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired, clearly, by 'Sarah, Plain and Tall.' I really hope this note section is not viewable by search engines because I doubt the author ever did anything to deserve this and she's better off not knowing it exists.

 

 

\---Portland Weekly, Matrimonial Section, April 22, 1844---

A gentleman 32 years of age, a farmer in ownership of considerable property and of agreeable appearance, seeks a help meet. Uncle to two orphaned children, desires to correspond with an eligible gentleman in the interest of matrimony. Intelligence and vivacity are essential. Address with editor.

 

 

 

To Whom It May Concern,

I am writing to request the address of the farmer gentleman in the matrimonial section of this week's paper.

With my sincerest thanks,

Loki Friggajarson

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Friggajarson,

Enclosed you will find a card provided by the gentleman in his own hand.

We wish you all the best in your endeavors.

Miss Thompson, Secretary to the Editor

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Thor Odinson,

I am writing in reply to your advertisement in the Portland Weekly. My name is Loki Friggajarson and I am twenty-four years old. I must be honest with you at once and admit that a failed business plan of my father's has left my family nearly destitute, so that I have nothing to offer in a marriage except myself and cannot add to your property.

I am bright and clever and if you like those things then perhaps you will like me.

Very sincerely yours,

Loki 

 

 

 

Dear Mr. Friggajarson,

I appreciate your candor, as it is something I value in a mate far more than the gold that might be brought with him. As I wrote in my advertisement, I am uncle to two orphans, and I have found that caring for them and my farm requires more hours than there are in a day. I own my house and land, and while my home may not be so grand as those to which you are accustomed in Maine, it is large and warm and has ten glass windows. I can offer you comfort and security in return for your help and companionship.

I am tall, and I like cleverness and brightness very much.

Very sincerely yours,

Thor

 

 

 

Dear Thor,

Your home sounds very pleasant and your promise of security is most welcome to one in my position. I too am tall and perhaps decent to look upon.

Fondly,

Loki

 

 

 

Very sincerely yours,

Thor

 

 

 

 

Fondly,

Loki

 

 

 

 

Dear Loki,

would you do me the honor of granting me your hand in marriage?

Very sincerely yours,

Thor

 

 

 

 

Dear Thor,

I must first request some evidence that the information you were so good as to provide in your most recent communique is accurate.

Please do not take this request harshly. A young man like me must act with care.

Very sincerely yours,

Loki

 

 

 

 

My dearest Loki,

I cannot chasten you one bit, and indeed, I value you all the more for this display of your good sense and practicality. If you wish to personally assure yourself of the veracity of my provided information, I offer you my pledge that I will purchase your train ticket home if you find me to have in any manner misrepresented myself, or that, upon meeting me in person, you feel we would not be a happy match. If you come to the train depot in Springfield, ask in the general store for Jacob Schmidt. He will bring you to my farm in his wagon.

Very sincerely yours,

Thor

 

 

 

Dear Thor,

I send you this letter and I will follow it. Tell Mr. Schmidt that I will wear a dark suit. I have black hair and green eyes. I hope to find all as it is promised. I will bring a ruler.

Very sincerely yours,

Loki

 

 

 

Dear Reverend Baxter,

I am writing to request a most happy service of you upon your next circuit to the Springfield Church.

Sincerely yours,

Thor Odinson

**Author's Note:**

> And so, another Silly September comes to an end. Thank you for joining in the ridiculousness!


End file.
